Uncertain

Dejected and feeling as though I’ve been ostracised, I helplessly go around in circles, like a novice swimmer who impulsively dived in the deep side of the pool; consciously but with poor foresight.

No wonder my vision is hazy, I think to myself in what I deem as a short-lived epiphany; the fleeting enlightenment seducing me to accept the reality of the choice I made and succumb to the perennial fear and anxiety that comes with it.

Almost drowning now by the burden of the consequences of the wrong decision, I recklessly plunge forward –deeper into incredulity- and embrace the renewed wave of uncertainty that has washed over me.  Another wrong decision perhaps.

Everything –and everyone– around me now appear more nebulous than before. But I’m determined this is just a Vague interlude; an uncertain hiatus that will trigger a better tomorrow.

And if it doesn’t, I suppose it won’t matter too much. I guess I’ve always harboured the tendency to willingly delve in uncertainty rather than be certain all along and later horrendously proved wrong anyway.

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6 thoughts on “Uncertain

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  1. Wow, that was an intense but lovely read. I can relate to the feelings conveyed easily. My go-to coping mechanism has been known to just push through no matter what. Not always the best option but how can we learn if we don’t try?

    Great post!

    Liked by 2 people

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